“Hate is not in my vocabulary.”

“Sure, the Smiths have 40 million dollars, but are they really happy?”

“Maybe my kid didn’t get into Harvard, but at least he knows how to change a light bulb.”

“Thank God my film didn’t get into Sundance.  It’s gotten so commercial.”

“I would never want to play at a private golf club – everyone there is such a snob.”

“Sure, my wife’s a big woman – more to hold onto.”

“Who needs Hawaii – we’ve got the most beautiful beaches right here in Jersey.”

“Summers off, home early every night – being married to a man who teaches school has its rewards.”

“The grandkid I love best of all?  The one with spina bifida.”

Hey, it’s me again, E-man, biggest Loser of all.  E-mail me with your rationalizations anytime.  That’s E-man@secondbestthemovie.com.  And remember, the only thing worse than being a loser is pretending you’re not.